    
UNDERSTANDING DANGERS OF EMPATHY
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July/August 2002 |
Ruth, 42, had
recently begun a new job as a social worker,
specializing in emergency relief with a
family-services agency. An experienced professional,
she loved the challenges of this work. She enjoyed
helping desperate people, and got a sense of victory
from making hard-to-get resources--aid, housing,
money--materialize, as if from thin air. But after a
few months at the agency, she was dreading her work.
Almost as soon as she began her day, she felt
exhausted and depressed. She felt so depleted, she
was afraid she’d have to quit and go on disability.
She despaired at the thought that she might have to
give up work that meant so much to her, and she had
no idea what to do next.
Ruth’s agency engaged me as a consultant-supervisor.
In a group meeting that I conducted with Ruth and
her coworkers, Ruth bravely revealed her
predicament. "How long had she been feeling this
way?" I wanted to know. To the best of her
recollection, she said, it had started in the last
few weeks. "Were there any unusually difficult new
cases during that time?" "Yes, there were," she
said, and proceeded to tell the group about a case
she found particularly troubling--a woman who’d fled
from her violent and abusive husband to a woman’s
shelter, which had referred her to Ruth’s agency for
additional assistance.
As soon as Ruth started speaking, she showed signs
of traumatic stress arousal: her skin became pale
and clammy; her hands shook. I asked her to pause
and focus on her body. Was she aware of any physical
sensations at the moment? She said she felt cold,
sweaty, and shaky. When I asked what she was
feeling, she began to cry. "What’s happening to me?"
she sobbed. "I used to be able to handle much more
than this!" She couldn’t stop the flow of emotion.
Luckily, it came in a small-group context, among
supportive coworkers.
Though Ruth’s reaction was intense, it wasn’t
unusual. Emergency relief or other work with
traumatized people is always demanding and wearing:
it frequently poses the risk of vicariously
traumatizing caretakers, and yet, our field isn’t
well prepared to help them. As a matter of course,
we recommend supervision for therapists and social
workers, and we encourage clinicians to discuss
difficult cases with colleagues, but we don’t always
recognize that, for people working with traumatized
clients, just talking about it may not be enough.
Trauma--whether the client’s original injury or the
clinician’s vicarious injury--happens as much in the
body as in the mind. All of us experience the
effects of trauma in the arousal of our autonomic
nervous system, the fight-or-flight reaction.
Discussion about countertransference or how
clinicians’ own issues might impede therapy may not
get at the somatic effects of vicarious trauma,
leaving helpers just as emotionally and physically
vulnerable, though perhaps more cognitively aware of
what’s happening. Preventing and ameliorating
vicarious traumatization requires us to pay as much
attention to physical sensations as to emotional
reactions.
At Risk for
Trauma
When I see people suffering from vicarious
traumatization, I evaluate how their actions are
putting them at risk. Often I find that how they
process the information they’re getting from
clients--how they hear, feel, see, and respond to
the trauma their clients are describing--may
predispose them to become traumatized themselves.
Second, how they interact with clients, physically
and verbally, is another potent factor in their
vulnerability to secondary traumatization. And
third, I look for personal issues in their lives and
memories that a traumatized client’s history or
current situation evokes.
After hearing Ruth’s story, I met with her alone for
two sessions. In the first, I asked her to tell me
more about the case that was causing her such
distress. As she described the details of her
client’s situation, I periodically stopped the
narrative to ask what she was feeling, seeing, and
hearing in her mind. She answered easily, with rich
and evocative language. As a helper, she was long
accustomed to picturing her clients’ experiences,
conjuring up vivid images of their struggles as she
listened to them--almost, in effect, recreating
their traumas in her mind.
This is a common strategy for many helping
professionals. It can be useful for becoming more
engaged with clients, but it poses dangers. A
misconception held by many helping professionals is
that to help their clients, they must feel their
clients’ pain! In fact, feeling overly intense
empathy can undermine the ability to provide an
anchor for traumatically overwhelmed clients. It
doesn’t help such people to see that a therapist is
feeling as provoked by trauma as they are.
When Ruth pictured her client’s situation, she
wasn’t being an objective observer seeing the events
from the outside. Instead, she was picturing herself
in her client’s shoes, seeing the situation from her
client’s perspective. If a client described an
automobile accident, Ruth imagined herself in the
driver’s seat, frantically trying to avoid the
crash. If a tornado had destroyed a client’s house,
Ruth saw her own home lying in ruins. It wasn’t
surprising that she was vulnerable to feeling bodily
stresses and feelings similar to those of her
clients. However, in most cases, she could separate
clients’ emotional experiences from her own. In this
case, she couldn’t.
After getting a sense of Ruth’s processing style, I
explored her patterns of interaction. "How do you
sit with clients?" I asked. "What’s your interaction
like when you’re in your office together, working
with a client?"
Like most helping professionals, Ruth would either
go on site or see clients in her office. Often, she
placed a client’s chair close to hers or at the side
of her desk, so they could, almost literally, "put
their heads together." She tended to lean toward
clients. As a way of communicating empathy, she’d
mirror their facial expressions and gestures. When a
client conveyed a pained or sad expression, Ruth
responded with the same countenance. Part of this
behavior was conscious (she wanted to communicate
that she understood and was moved), but part had
become second nature, as automatic as breathing.
Finally, I asked Ruth to consider if anything in
this client’s situation reminded her of something
from her own past. That question was more difficult
for her to address. Despite having an empathetic
style of interacting with clients, she prided
herself on her ability to maintain a fair degree of
objectivity, neither getting sucked into clients’
inner worlds, nor allowing her personal life to
interfere with her work. The idea that her feelings
would intrude on the job embarrassed her. No, she
insisted, she’d never experienced anything like her
client’s situation with a brutal, abusive husband.
Still, I asked again. "Was there nothing at all in
your past that might suggest something like what was
happening with your client? If it hadn’t happened to
you, perhaps then to someone close to you?" Slowly,
it dawned on her: she remembered an older cousin,
her caretaker when she’d been a child of 10. This
cousin’s husband had repeatedly beaten her when he
was drunk. Ruth had often seen her with a black eye
or a split lip. Ruth yearned to help, but was too
young and powerless to do so. At that time, during
the mid-1960s, no women’s shelters were available to
give refuge to abused wives, law-enforcement
agencies didn’t show much concern for protecting
women from domestic violence, and the public didn’t
express sympathy for women stuck with brutal men.
Abused women were often blamed for "provoking" their
husbands. Like many women of her era, Ruth’s cousin
had stayed with her husband, enduring physical and
emotional abuse for years, until his alcoholism
killed him. As a child, Ruth had vowed that when she
got older, she’d do something to help others in pain
and suffering. In fact, Ruth realized, her fervor
for her profession had roots in her cousin’s
misfortunes. At the same time, Ruth didn’t fully
appreciate how much the emotional impact of her
cousin’s trauma was haunting her. Seeing the abused
client, she’d suddenly, and without knowing what was
happening, ceased being a competent, self-contained,
helping professional, and had begun reexperiencing
herself as a 10-year-old girl, seeing her beloved
cousin being tormented and unable to do anything
about it.
HOW TO
RETOOL
The three keys to Ruth’s vicarious trauma and
burnout--how she processed client information, how
she interacted with clients, and how personal issues
affected her work--all emerged quite clearly. (These
keys aren’t always so apparent, but in therapy at
least one of them usually reveals itself.) The
question then becomes what to do. Once we’ve
identified the source of vicarious trauma, how can
we reverse its effects and help aid workers in the
crisis professions and trauma-treating specialists
prevent its recurrence?
To lessen the emotional impact of a client’s story,
I teach helpers to adjust how they process
information: I assure them that they can be
sympathetic and attentive without injecting
themselves into the story. To understand a client’s
situation, it isn’t necessary to picture it.
Sometimes, as in Ruth’s case, visualizing traumatic
pictures can be disturbing enough to throw helpers
completely off stride. Ruth needed to learn how to
attend only to the words her client was using--just
to listen to them, without conjuring up any of the
vivid images they suggested. I proposed she try out
different ways of relating to her clients: sometimes
attending only to words, sometimes relying on her
usual mode of creating images. She could also
experiment with creating images of what the client
was telling her, but from a perspective other than
her own, a perspective she could handle better. She
could imagine watching her client undergo the event,
rather than visualize it happening to herself. She
could imagine the traumatic scene unfolding at a
great distance, or on a movie screen, or even on a
tiny black-and-white television set. Any stratagem
that helps distance a traumatic scene will dampen
its emotional power. The idea was to give Ruth a
greater sense of control over how she received and
processed information.
Ruth and I also worked on the specifics of her
professional interactions. What she was doing
physically to connect with her client exacerbated
the emotional arousal, beginning with the visual
images of the client’s story. Sitting close to her
client, mirroring her gestures and facial
expressions, Ruth came to feel nearly what the woman
was feeling. The difficulty of this was obvious: a
desperate helper can’t help a desperate client. To
be of any help, one person, however sympathetic to
the plight of the other, needs to maintain a sense
of calm detachment. Since this person isn’t the
client, it had better be the professional!
Again, experimentation was in order. I encouraged
Ruth to maintain awareness of her body sensations
and facial expressions. She needed to practice how
to communicate concern without feeling the client’s
every emotion. She came to the conclusion that she
should sit farther away. She placed the client’s
chair on the other side of her desk, not beside it.
The desk provided a natural boundary, which
protected her from feeling so much of her client’s
pain.
Ruth also set out to identify when she was mirroring
her client’s facial expressions. To make herself
more aware of her facial expressions and physical
state in general, I suggested that every now and
then she take a "mini-time-out" from conversation
with her client, emotionally and cognitively
stepping back to focus on herself and ask, "What am
I doing now?" At these moments, she’d consciously do
something different--shift her position in the
chair, take a breath, move her facial muscles--and
watch how the shift altered how she was feeling. She
found that deliberately sitting back in her chair
and taking a deep breath cut the flow of the
client’s emotion into her own body. Much to her
surprise, these changes didn’t diminish her empathy:
as she regained a sense of calm control, she
discovered she was more helpful to her clients,
better able to lower their anxiety and feelings of
distress.
Finally, Ruth had to confront, for the first time in
her career, the hidden emotional impact of her
cousin’s abuse, and how, when she’d met a client
suffering the same fate, that memory had loomed up,
in all its debilitating power. Personal histories
have an enormous impact on everyone’s choice of
career. For helping professionals, this is a huge
benefit, as it generates the emotional electricity
that makes us care deeply about what we do. But if
we don’t know ourselves psychologically--if we’re
unconscious of our motives, except the most
consciously altruistic--we’re susceptible to
reenacting our past with clients, in ways that
benefit no one.
On the job, Ruth needed to learn to separate her
cousin from her client, to recognize that nothing
about her work with her client now had anything to
do with her inability to help her cousin then. She
found she could consciously turn on the
"professional observer" in her brain, reminding
herself she wasn’t a helpless child, but a
competent, helpful adult, and thus maintaining deep
sympathy regulated by mature detachment. Having
learned to attain a higher degree of consciousness
about how her past was impeding her work life, she
restructured her approach to her job.
At the same time, on becoming aware of this
shadow-presence in her life, Ruth decided to seek
out a therapist for further counseling, both to
resolve the issue on a deeper level in her personal
life and to prevent its possible emergence in her
work. Undergoing therapy would seem a natural thing
for a helper in Ruth’s position to do. The trauma
literature for therapists and other professionals
recommends seeking out supervision, case
consultation, and their colleagues’ support, but,
for those suffering vicarious traumatization, it
rarely suggests therapy. This is an unfortunate
omission. Undoubtedly, some professionals affected
by vicarious traumatization are struggling with old,
traumatic issues that won’t resolve themselves
through discussions with consultants, supervisors,
or colleagues; for them, working with a therapist is
advisable.
Ruth was not so different from the rest of us who
work with traumatized people. After all, it’s our
gift for empathy that draws us to our work. And yet,
empathy at full throttle--felt and projected 100
percent with our bodies, hearts, and minds--has its
risks. Without some sense of separation, our
capacity to help clients erodes. Keeping something
in reserve doesn’t make us heartless or cold. Far
from it: the most heartfelt and healing work we do
is when we’re in complete possession of ourselves,
and can bring to our clients a full measure of
thoughtful, problem-solving compassion.
Babette
Rothschild, MSW, LCSW, is the author of The Body
Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma
Treatment and The Body Remembers Casebook: Unifying
Methods and Models in the Treatment of Trauma and
PTSD (both published by W.W. Norton) . She is in
private practice in Los Angeles, and gives
professional training, supervision, and consultation
around the world.
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